Contributed by Jeff J. Snider

The following is the thirteenth installment in an ongoing list kept by the contributor and his roommates and friends:

  1. I Can’t Go Anywhere But Up, But I Sure Can Go Down A Lot Farther
  2. That’s A Figurative Literal
  3. Somebody Put ‘Contradiction’ In The ‘Romance’ Bottle
  4. Continents Are Like Snowflakes (No Two Are The Same)
  5. I Had Some Gizzard The Other Day — It Reminded Me Of You
  6. Sometimes When I’m Driving I Scratch Myself Like A Velociraptor
  7. Do Fetuses Have Endeavors?
  8. Is That The Escalator That I Threw A Fit On Once?
  9. There’s The Parking Lot Where We Met Juan Pablo And The Gypsy Woman
  10. If You’re Big Before You’re Old, It’s Good To Have Something To Crap In
  11. It’s Hard To Eat Melting Ice Cream At An Angle
  12. Staying In One Place For A Long Time Makes Anything Happen
  13. Skanky People Look Skankier In Utah
  14. Everything Tastes Better Through A Chain Link Fence
  15. Artie Will Only Have My Latkes With Ketchup