Contributed by Devin Felix

An old, senile woman at the contributor’s church was at the pulpit preaching about a variety of things, including the following:

There are also a lot of foods I can’t eat anymore. Chocolate, for example: White chocolate, the dark chocolate, and the milk chocolate, which is the kind babies love so much. And I know that, in the next life, the men will be the ones who have the babies. [At this point, she concluded and sat down, then turned to the lady next to her and added:] And I bet you’re wondering how the men will have the babies. [Dramatic pause.] Through the rectum.