Contributed by Eric D. Snider

This e-mail was sent to the contributor in response to his review of a Keanu Reeves movie. Note the logic employed by the writer: If someone reviews a movie, he must be on a first-name basis with the movie’s cast:

Dear person,

This is Keanu’s number 1 fan, if u could tell him, and tell him to write to me as soon as possible I would be the happiest girl in the universe. I am so serious right now, i’ve seen just about all of his movies and I have pics of him all around my room, please tell him to write at this e-mail address. Thank you so very much!

Christina