Newspaper and Online Articles

Contributed by Charles A. Lieberman

From an article about termites:

Meanwhile, several signs to alert you to a subterranean termite infestation include:
-Mud tubes.
-Damaged or “hollow” sounding wood.
-Dead termites or wings.
-Live termites.
-Swarming termites.

Contributed by Mark

From an article in USA Today on July 23, 2003, entitled “Cutting-edge science creates stain-free pants“:

“People are saying, ‘Geez, this isn’t Star Trek yet, this is just pants that don’t stain,’ but you’ve got to start somewhere,” said Howard Lovy, news editor of the nanotech industry journal Small Times. “I’m wearing nano-pants as we speak.”

Contributed by Misty

Over on, Eric D. Snider (the creator of WeMadeOut) has a message board. Eric is a writer and a film critic, and there is a semi-regular visitor to the board named RayJay who thinks the same can be said of himself. Here is a line from his review of “The Grudge” (we recommend that you read the entire review, and then click around the rest of the site if you’re so inclined):

Well to understand the premese of the movie you need to look at what is beleved behind the movie!

i give this movie a yellow light due to the fact that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and it did scare me a little (if it didn’t scare me i would of gaven it a red light but because i was shivering ill give it a yellow light)!

Contributed by Chiara Whiting

From the contributor:
George Varga, the San Diego Union-Tribune’s pop music critic, recently reviewed a Linda Ronstadt concert during which the Ronstadt praised filmmaker Michael Moore. Varga called Ronstadt “brave” for expressing her opinion even at the risk of alienating some of her audience. Needless to say, Ronstadt’s words and Varga’s response to them generated a lot of letters to the editor. Here is an extract from a letter published August 8, 2004:

If I could, I would shake Varga’s hand for his influential words of truth and thank him for standing up for the Constitution of the United States, which is, in my opinion, the most important law of the land viagra.
Marianne Chun Ping Seavers
Mission Valley

Only in her opinion, huh?

Contributed by Kristy Lemmon

This article just screams “April Fools joke,” but it is dated March 24 and the contributor emailed the link on March 26:

Contributed by Mark

From an article in the Seattle Times about Mad Cow Disease:

Dave Louthan, who killed the Holstein at Vern’s Moses Lake Meat Co. on Dec. 9, says he has no doubt he remembers the right cow. “Every cow that comes in there, I kill. That kind of puts us in a relationship,” said Louthan, who killed cows at Vern’s for four years before he was laid off earlier this month after his bosses told him business had slowed.

Louthan, 44, said he’s sorry to lose his job, because he enjoyed the work. “I did it because I liked to kill cows,” he said. “I don’t care if I’m hauling them, feeding them or killing them. As long as I’m around livestock, I’m happy. I’m a cowboy.”

Contributed by Claire

From a review of the movie “Narc” written by David Elliott for the San Diego Union-Tribune on January 10, 2003:

Describing actor Ray Liotta, Elliott writes:

“His voice makes you think of a hubcap gladly smacking a curb–it’s the ear-grab street speech of an adopted Jersey lad…”

Contributor’s note: “If you can figure out what a glad hubcap sounds like, or what any of this has to do with Liotta’s voice, you are a wiser person than I.”

Contributed by Eric D. Snider

From The Daily Universe (BYU) on Sept. 21, 2000:

“Athlete found ill in Sydney,
Olympic games continue”

Not like those other times, when athletes got sick and they canceled the whole Olympics.

Contributed by Amie

From the Rexburg (Idaho) Standard Journal on Sept. 20, 2000:

“Bitch Creek Bridge will be replaced”

State Transportation Dept. officials are calling for bidders on a contract to replace the bridge that spans Bitch Creek on State Hwy. 32 on the border of Teton and Fremont Counties.

Resident engineer Brian Kremer of the Dist. 6 division of Highways office says he has few details about the project, including when it might start.

Kremer says the project probably will span two years and include lots of one-way traffic. He’s unsure if any work will begin this fall. “The timing is not great,” he says.

Contributed by Mark Bigelow

From the Daily Universe at BYU:

“SIDS takes Orem life
of seven-month old”

Apparently, The Daily Universe allows its copy editors to put the words in whatever order they want.

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