April 2006


Contributed by Judy

An email received by the contributor’s company, a ship operator, from a port agency in Venezuela, unhappy to have lost their business (the contributor is “miss j.a.”):

to: mr. p.c./ miss j.a.-

dear mr p.c. and miss j.a., receive a cordial greeting on behalf of company, we have done whith concern that you/ they have not contacted us to the ends of quoting the foods and materials to the different ships freighted by you company, dedicated to embark imports of minerals in the different ports of the river orinoco puerto ordaz venezuela. we wanted to express him that we are willing to consider that probably the differen shipping agencies which are hired by you have not included us in the rate process, in such a sense we wanted them to send us their requeriments to our electonic mail directly in the attention of the mr. alberto lara operations manager, we understand that during the requirements made previously by you to our company we give this requirements whih the but high sense of responsibility. our products are and they have always been of the but high quality and economic prices, we wait to have satisfied their requirements in all the senses and in the time required by you. according to previous comments received on the part of the agencies you are well served, the same as their captains. whitout but to that to make reference says goodbye of you, sincerely.

[Name],
[Company Name]
OPERATIONS MANAGER.
EMAIL: xxxx@xxxx. com
email: xxxx@xxxx. com
phones: 0058- 4xxxxxxx - 0058-xxxxxx - 0058-xxxxx

Contributed by MJ

Said by a skanky contestant after being booted off of season seven of “The Bachelor”:

There is such a racist against beautiful people in this country.

Contributed by Renee Boyer

From the contributor: “I work at an adventure and education camp in England. Between the guests and instructors there is plenty of fodder for your site!”

Her roommate:

Please stop jumping, my stomach is full of penguins!

A guest, while unpacking:

Excuse me, I have a problem. Our room only has a bath, but I brought shower gel with me.

A guest, on seeing the contributor’s knee brace:

Did you sprain your ankle?

A mountain biking instructor:

You need to pedal with your balls!

Her roommate, on her long distance relationship:

He’s looking at me through rose-tinted glasses, but I’m looking at him with f***-off lenses.

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