Contributed by Wayne Woodfield
The contributor overheard some “nerdy” co-workers discussing the upcoming series finale of a sci-fi television show. The following exchange occurred between the men and a “very blonde” receptionist who inserted herself into the conversation:
Nerd 1: “Nobody knows how it ends yet. They only made one copy of the script, and it was printed on red paper.”
Receptionist: “So what? Why red paper?”
Nerd 2: “Well, since red paper photocopies black, a photocopy of the script couldn’t be made.”
Receptionist: (shaking her head) “Well, that’s so stupid - why don’t they just print it on black paper then?”
Contributed by Lori R
From the contributor:
Playing “Taboo” - the game where you have to describe a word for your teammate(s) to guess, without using any of the “taboo” words provided by the game manufacturer.
The word she needs to guess is “widow.” The clue given is, “This is what you call a woman when her spouse passes away.”
Her response: “Whore!”
Contributed by blue
Overheard in a conversation between two old men who were, for some reason, in a dormitory elevator:
you know why we don’t have problems with werewolves or wild fires? because we eat right, that’s why.
Contributed by Renee Boyer
A note from a 10-year-old girl to the contributor’s brother-in-law:
To Jhon + Niel
Thank-you for letting me use your computer I am internally grateful love J
Contributed by Chiara Whiting
From the contributor:
George Varga, the San Diego Union-Tribune’s pop music critic, recently reviewed a Linda Ronstadt concert during which the Ronstadt praised filmmaker Michael Moore. Varga called Ronstadt “brave” for expressing her opinion even at the risk of alienating some of her audience. Needless to say, Ronstadt’s words and Varga’s response to them generated a lot of letters to the editor. Here is an extract from a letter published August 8, 2004:
If I could, I would shake Varga’s hand for his influential words of truth and thank him for standing up for the Constitution of the United States, which is, in my opinion, the most important law of the land.
Marianne Chun Ping Seavers
Mission Valley
http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20040808/news_1a8vargalets.html
Only in her opinion, huh?
Contributed by Jeff J. Snider
The following is the twelfth installment in an ongoing list kept by the contributor and his roommates and friends:
- I Think I Have An Out-Vote In Me
- Suckin’ On A Sprite With Another Guy’s Girl
- I’ve Got My Wheelbarrow And A Runny Nose
- We’ll See You Later If You Wanna Come; If Not, We’ll See Ya Later
- I Know Where My Heart Is
- Do You Bless A Yawn In German?
- I Don’t Know Why Anybody Never Thought Of That
- I Don’t Think There’s Anyone Who Isn’t Deaf And Blind Who’s Less Funny Than Everyone Who Is
- I Was Looking For Deer And Found A Teepee
- If You’re Gonna Be A Goat, You Better Have A Freakin’ Kid
- I’m A Freakin’ Femme, And She’s A Stupid Guy
- Oh Great, The Afghans Are Printing My Directory
- Whatever I Was Gonna Say Was Something I Wanted To Say
- Was Saturn Here Before You?
- I’m Still Before I Was Married
Contributed by Sarah Romrell
Note: A reader named Tim Larsen points out a record of this story at Snopes.com. The story can be read here: Link. Unfortunately, it appears that this story is untrue; if it weren’t so funny, we would take it off the site altogether.
From the contributor:
This story was told to me by a roommate, who witnessed this event. This is one of the funniest things I have ever heard, and is great to randomly quote.
Setting: a popular grocery store, past the check out lines, near the automatic doors.
Character: African-American woman, wearing a traditional African dress.
As she is trying to leave the store, a ham falls out from under her dress. She takes a look around, sees people looking at her and says:
“For real! Who trew dat ham at me?”
Contributed by bj
The contributor was telling some friends and roommates about an emotional breakup she had just had with her boyfriend. One of her friends interrupted with this:
not that this has anything to do with anything, but … I saw the most hilarious dead pigeon today.