December 2003
Monthly Archive
Tue 23 Dec 2003
Contributed by Steven P. Sanders
The contributor’s fifteen-year-old brother wrote the following in an essay about the Teapot Dome Scandal:
Albert Fall [Secretary of Inerter] or he’s in charge of natural recourses. Since he makes $12,000 and he fixed his ranch, and since he brought land worth $125,000 so that doesn’t make sense.
Fall sold government property to oil companies. He sold it for thousands of dollars in cash, bonds, and lives stock. This will be known as the Teapot Scandal.
He was fined $100,000 dollars
Sun 21 Dec 2003
Contributed by Chris Buxton
A flier on a car in Addison, Illinois, a few weeks before the 2000 election. Spelling, formatting, and capitalization are all preserved:
VOTERS PLEASE LISTEN UP!
CLINTON GORE ADMINISTRATIN:
1. CRIME HIGHERST IN THE 90′S THEN EVER BEFORE
2 CORRUPT SUPREME CT JUDGES.
3. SLOWLY TAKING AWAY OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH
4. PUBLIC PRAYER & MENTION OF GOD IS BEING CENSORED
5. HOMOSEXUALITY BEING RAISED TO NATIONAL ACCEPTANCE
6. PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION (BARBARIANISM)
7. ABORTION (THE PUTTING TO DEATH OF A POTENTIAL HUMAN BEING
8. IMMORALITY, LIES, LIES & MORE LIES
9. THE INTRODUCTION OF “POLITICAL CORRECTNESS” WHICH IN REALITY IS SMALL STEPS TOWARD MARXISM 10. AND THE LIST GOES ON . . .
PROVERBS 6:16-19
THERE ARE 7 THINGS THAT THE LORD HATES (I WILL MENTION THE 1ST 3) 1. ARROGANCE 2. A LYING TONGUE 3. SHEDDING OF INNOCENT BLOOD.
IF YOU SAY YOU LOVE GOD THEN YOU CANNOT VOTE FOR GORE.
VOTE BUSCH = A MAN OF INTEGRITY
WE NEED A GOOD CHANGE IN AMERICA
Fri 19 Dec 2003
Contributed by Claire
From the monthly column “Antigravity,” by Steve Mirsky, in Scientific American on November 11, 2002:
“Members Only”
It happens this way sometimes. Just as Leibniz and Newton independently invented the calculus, certain scientific advances just seem to be in the air. Throw in the fact that most scientists are male, and perhaps it begins to explain why you couldn’t swing Schrödinger’s cat in September without hitting breaking news about penises.
Wed 17 Dec 2003
Contributed by Claire
Conclusion of a message posted to a theater-related email group. The writer was seeking a few specific broadway recordings:
Please email me if you can help at all, or noof any sits where i might be able to ask
Mon 15 Dec 2003
Contributed by Dale Buckley
From the booklet for English CD “Yeah!!!!!!!!!!” by Japanese band Southern All Stars:
A planet called the earth which I’ve ever visited had a spectacular season, the summer. In the summer there, numbers of flowers have bloomed all over, numbers of adventures have rolled out, and numbers of sweet music have performed. I do believe the season will never ends to the future. Glitters of a ripple in the sun, sounds of wind, girls’ whispers, mysteries of the ever lasting sea, smells of love and the blue blue endless sky. “ALL I NEED IS SUMMER”
Amazon.com’s listing for this CD includes the following user review:
Then, buy all stuffs by Southern All Stars.
They are perfect for love song.
If you live in NY, then you had better other CD; Vicious Night in th eNew York City.
I can say they are Japanes Beattles.
Sat 13 Dec 2003
Contributed by CC
(From the contributor: “I was looking for bridal shower resources on the internet. This was the first thing to pop up. (from http://www.bridal-shower-etiquette-a.us). I have not altered it in any way.” Editor’s note: The reason I have not made a link to that site is because it is full of popup ads, and I care too much about my readers to do that.)
If you get a good deal for famous wedding clipart cake, then buy another couple and run away from Discount Web Site Locations.buying MEDIEVAL WEDDING GOWN DISCOUNT CAKE at bridal shower etiquette internet internet locations is a good way to relax, but when you are depressed, find something else to do.The fun of buying reliable unique flower can be greater by taking larger orders at the Romantic Cheapest Site from time to time.Many wedding dress romantic internet site send out free newsletters to subscribers on any specific Romantic Tahiti Honeymoon Book as well as more general healthcare issues. Make buying show today wedding website books at the ROMANTIC BRIDAL SHOWER ETIQUETTE WEB SITE the center of a romantic intimate night. At shopping for on line wedding quote invitation, decide ahead for the specific PLATINUM WEDDING RING SERVICE LOCATION the amount of money that if you spend, you walk away.
Thu 11 Dec 2003
Contributed by Adrienne Daines
Excerpt from the 10:00 news in Washington DC about the increase of bars and nightclubs in a particular part of the city:
Newsperson: “Restaurants and other businesses are literally being hijacked out of this area…”
Tue 9 Dec 2003
Contributed by Jerilyn
This was in the weekly newsletter from the contributor’s kids’ elementary school. It may help — slightly — to know that VISA stands for Very Important Student Assistant:
Why I Want To Be A Library Helper
by [name]
In the beginning man was given the immense responsibility over the land, animals, and plants. The thought of such responsibility is staggering. Man must have felt small and timid, but the unknowing mind of the man had not yet processed the vast thought of responsibility he had over everything. I would highly enjoy…no not enjoy but prize and honor the privilege of being a VISA. I think I could be a valuable addition to the legions of noble boys and girls marching to help straighten shelves and assist fellow comrades embarking on the pleasures of knowledge to find books. Mrs. Koehler, I would be highly pleased to work in the library and except the responsibility that all men have desired since the beginning of time.
Sun 7 Dec 2003
Contributed by Kathleen Laskowski
The contributor received this spam email:
Time Travelers PLEASE HELP!!! 25480
Hello,
If you are a time traveler or alien and or in possession of government or alien technology I need your help! My entire life and health has been messed with by evil beings! If you have access to the carbon copy replica model #50 3000 series, the dimensional warp, temporal reversion or something similar please reply! I simply need the safest method of transferring my consciousness or returning to my younger self with my current mind/memory. I need an advanced time traveler to work with who can help me, I would prefer someone with access to teleportation as well as a variety different types of time travel. This is not a joke! I am serious! Please send a separate email to me at: Dragonball03@aol.com if you can help! Thanks
Fri 5 Dec 2003
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