We Made Out in a Tree and This Old Guy Sat and Watched Us

Contributed by Eric D. Snider

(Published in The Daily Herald, Provo, Utah, 10/28/00)

Paul Tripp writes a weekly genealogy column called “Puzzle Pieces.” He often encourages people to write their personal histories, and as an example, he described something that happened to him recently. He did it in poem form for reasons he did not explain. His regular, non-columnist job is selling fluorescent bulbs and other lighting products to businesses, and in this incident, he had received permission from an employee to demonstrate a bulb, except the employee changed her mind half-way through and got her boss to get rid of him.

(UNTITLED)

Naked on the ladder
Up on the ladder,
Changing fluorescent light bulbs,
The boss’ son walks up,
Red with anger.
“Get down from that ladder,
And leave the building!”

That makes my day in selling,
Don’t get an order here,
‘Cept to get out.
I’m mad at him,
He’s madder at me.

The company woman
Who said I could show
My bulbs,
Is gone.
Slick. Gone, and left me
Naked on the ladder.

Feeling dumb,
Nobody to see
My nice new bulbs,
I depart,
In shame.
I mumble.

Contributed by Katie and Kelly

(Contributors’ note: “This song was left in the printer in the physics lab of the Eyring Science Center at BYU. Reprinted exactly.”)

“Ellen, My Love”

Prelude (flowing chord extensions)

First Verse (single chords)
Piercing my sould with your tender replys,
To see forever I just look in your eyes.
The words you whisper of what we can become,
Uniting our spirits, two souls become one.

Interlude (flowing chord extensions)

Second Verse (single chords)
Flowing with purpose, this heavernly power.
Rising above, this winter-torn flower
Memories of the future embrace us with light
So softly, so sweetly, you take my hand, and dance…

Chorus (fast and energetic)

Bridge (piano takes chorus melody)

Third verse (repeating chord triplets)
Remember the lake, the sunset, the skies,
The laughing, the crying, big races, bike rides.
Remember the vision, the purpose, the tears,
The poems, the columns, the handprints, the cheers

Interlude (flowing chord extensions)

Fourth Verse (repeating chord triplets)
So many questions, but somehow I know,
With light from your face, you can’t help but glow.
You are a song that I’d never heard,
You told me the world, without saying a word. And we danced…

Chorus (fast and energetic)

Into the night, into the heart,
Two souls merge, lighting the dark.
A river of love, forever, no end,
My beacon, my comfort, my lover, my friend

Bridge (piano takes chorus melody)

Repeat Chorus (slow and peaceful)

Contributed by Alicia Lewis

(From the contributor: “I was actually 16 when I wrote it — March 3, 1990 is the date in my little book.”)

UNTITLED

Seeing you across the room. Wishing you would come and ask the question.
Watching you with other girls.
I feel a slight pang in my heart. Not the knife wound I expected. I still care but my heart heals from the pain you caused and my tears are not for you.
At least, not for you alone. I cry for what could never be.
I cry for my new feelings. They are just as crazy- yet more so. It is he. I care for him now. Seeing him with Racheal caused me more pain than you ever could.
Why- why must it be Erik? Why can’t it be no one?

Contributed by Alicia Lewis

The following poems were written by June Johnson and can be found in her books at BYU’s Harold B. Lee Library in the Americana section of Special Collections. All original punctuation, capitalization, grammar and so forth has been left intact:

THE CAPTAIN’S LADY

In that long ago past,
what questions did we ask?
Did we ask our God
to let our paths cross on
this sod?
In that pre-existent state
did I say I’d be your mate?
Did I know I’d know you face
when I saw it in this place?

I can see it in your eyes,
you’ve been fooled by life’s lies.
Oh, won’t you take my hand,
and be the leader of my band?

Be the captain of my ship
as we travel on life’s trip. Oh my darling, please be true,
for God has sent me to you.

****************************

The devil’s works shall be revealed,
you shall be healed.

You will be allowed to rest
Your weary body and mind, lest

Your strength is depleted
When it’s most needed.

Refresh yourself as you dine,
with mine.

They will come to you
As I tell them to.

Strength give and strength receive.
No one will deceive.

Tiz a royal lady you’ve proved
Heaven and Earth you’ve moved.

This world and all it’s splendor
Will shine in your window.

Devine beings will come to your dwelling
God, himself will be telling

You how to be safe and protected
As you serve others and help the dejected.

THE BEE

Why does the bird cry?
Why does the bee
sing and sting?
Why am I, I?
What made me, Me?

Contributed by Anonymous

From the 1992 album “0898,” by Beautiful South:

There’s no more little secrets we haven’t yet disclosed
We bore the living daylights of anyone too close
And all our cards at Christmas are written to us both
Count them up who’s got the most?

Said we’d be close
Said we’d work perfectly
Said that we’d toast
Beautiful company

Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she’ll smother
It’s too close for a lover
It’s too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other

We’ve been through all positions and this one’s definitely best
You move Middle East and I’ll move Wild West
What happened to our friendship we could easily have guessed
Add it up we’re self-possessed

Said we’d be true
Said we’d be so so proud
Just me and you
We’d shout it out aloud

Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a cat to the child that she’ll smother
It’s too close for a lover
It’s too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other

Remember we went shopping and we went by piggyback
I shaved all my legs and you grew hairs upon your back
Well no-one’s ever been since to this lover’s shack
It’s a cul-de-sac

Said we’d be close
Said we’d work perfectly
Said that we’d toast
Beautiful company

Said we’d be true
Said we’d be so so proud
Just me and you
We’d shout it out aloud

Closer than a sister to her baby brother
Closer than a secret agent working under cover
It’s too close for a lover
It’s too close for a lover
We are each other
We are each other

Contributed by Anonymous

Faxed to The Daily Herald in Provo, Utah, from the Little London Dinner Theater in Pleasant Grove, Utah, on Feb. 13, 2001. It was assumed the word “not” was unintentional:

Due to popular demand, “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” has not been extended until Friday, February 23.

Contributed by Kimberly

From a commercial on Utah’s KJZZ-TV for a special kind of medicine:

A beautiful, young woman speaking: “Life is full of hassles. Genital herpes is one of mine.”

Contributed by Kiersten J Honaker

Excerpt from instructions on a set of temporary tattoos featuring Toucan Sam, found in a box of Froot Loops fruit snacks:

“Stays on for up to two weeks–even in swimming pools!”

and

“Chlorinated water may cause removal of tattoo.”

Contributed by Anonymous

Warning on a package of Starburst Hard Candies:

Enjoyment tip: do not engage in any activity that would cause this or any other hard candy to lodge in throat.

Contributed by Kimberly Felix

Looking forward particularly to the “Rock N’ Roll Sushi”…

A real ad; the phone number has been removed to prevent crank calls.

Enjoy the quotation marks in this ad: